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On Black, Fat, Femme Positivity: Why I'm at My Heaviest, My Most Confident, and Don't Need Your Approval to Exist

"If I breathe in public for five seconds, it’s also common that someone will feel the need to tell me, “YASSSSS!” in an attempt to ch...

Saturday, April 25, 2015

No. 12 of my 30 in 15 for National Poetry Month



I don't look like the pains I carry.
Yet, my freedom tarries.

Head and heart heavy.


But unbowed.

Mirakol Smith, April 25, 2015

Friday, April 24, 2015

No. 11 of my 30 in 15 for National Poetry Month


I don't take heart
or find satisfaction
in the fact that
there is someone worse off than me
So yes, I get angry
I grumble and complain
Sometimes shake my fist at God
I hate catching the bus in the rain

And I hate going to sleep alone some nights
Or realizing my friends have in the last year caught 4, 5, 6 flights
Done got wifed
And I wait in what seems a sea of mediocrity                                 
Finding it hard to not wonder: what's wrong with me?           

I want to see the world
I want to fall madly in love
I want my dreams realized

Not ignored under the guise of my victories coming in the next life.    

My hope is to see them in this one.

Mirakol Smith, April 24, 2015

Thursday, April 23, 2015

No. 10 of my 30 in 15 for National Poetry Month

Allergies, a haiku

I can't eem breeve.
Asthma has no chill at all
Nebulizer, please?

Mirakol Smith, April 23, 2015

No. 9 of my 30 in 15 for National Poetry Month


You are in the middle of your Psalm.
Your victory is yet impending.
Not putting on face or facade,
You are a deep well.
Just as you revel with great mirth,
So do you hurt.
You are soulful.
You are melancholic.
And in the midst of it all...
You are smiled upon, dear daughter.     
Your Father sings melodies over you.
For you are in the middle of your Psalm.

Mirakol Smith, April 23, 2015

Monday, April 20, 2015

No. 8 of my 30 in 15 for National Poetry Month (playing catchup)

I'm a bit behind with my writing. So this is my time to play catchup. I'll try to roll them out. These pieces will be old pieces I've gathered, pieces lingering in my queue, on my phone, etc. Short poems, haikus. Things of the like. 

The one below was written out of my despair. My fight for freedom from my various pains. And my calling to help other people get free. Enjoy!

Glass Houses and a Sledgehammer

There's an overwhelming heaviness of heart I carry.

It is at times fleeting, and then I'm okay. Other times, it bores through me like a piercing gaze…not akin to that of a lover.

I feel I'm sitting in an empty glass house with no stones and a sledgehammer too heavy for me to swing and set myself free.

I'm left with my thoughts. I'm left with my own words, weaponized to be unkind to myself. And this heavy, heavy hammer.

It is far more than I can stand to lift. It is old. It is rugged. It is splintery and rusted. And while quite difficult and painful to manage, it is the only thing that will get me out of this place.

I try, many a time, to no avail to lift this aid of liberation. I grow weary. I cry. I fail. So I sit, with this hammer lightly grasped wondering how I will ever manage to get out of here. For I am too weak. I am not strong enough to do this in my own might…

If I were to escape, what about the shards of glass? What about the pain of actually climbing out? What about what lies on the other side of these walls? Can I handle it?

My thoughts…

My questions…

My doubts…

I am left with them and this heavy, heavy hammer--the only thing that can set me free.

Where do I find strength to use the only tool given me?

The tool…

I strengthen myself by carrying this tool. I bear its heaviness. I endure the splinters. I embrace the callouses. And with this comes renewal of the mind…a mental and spiritual Bearing, Endurance and Embrace like no other. I build the valor necessary to heave this tool as I will.

And break free…

Glass at my feet, limbs a bit scarred, hammer in hand, walking to the next glass house.

And let us rejoice and exult in our hope of experiencing and enjoying the glory of God.
Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance.
And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approved faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation.

Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us.
Romans 5:2-5 (AMP)