Insomnia

Originally written August 23, 2015

You are my insomnia.
It's unfair that you've taken over my mind.
Sweet goodnights end with me staying awake daydreaming of sweet, good nights next to you.
It's unfair.
How you've hitched yourself up to me without warning.
I don't wanna call it love. But...I can't sleep.

Default

Originally written September 9, 2015

There exists an insurmountable number of words sufficient to express my sentiments for you.
However, my lips and heart default to one.
And who's to say how foolish I've become
In light of a whirlwind romance?
Swept in your arms, enjoying this dance.
While I'm afraid, these butterflies excite me.
While I'm timid, your passion ignites me.
I await the day we'll finally come face to face.
Until then, my heart remains foolishly true.
While my head and mind tell me like,
My heart and lips tell me I love you.

My Love

Originally written on September 1, 2015

I'm not sure I can trust you with my love.

Forgive me my love.

The truth is, I'm jaded; I'd hoped that I hadn't been fazed by the ways others have hurt me

I find it hard to trust that you won't hurt me or desert me

I'm not sure I can't rust you with my 'I love yous.'

Forgive me, my love.

The truth is, I wonder if they will be abused; misused, appropriated for selfish tools to hack away at my being

Depleting their meaning

Taken and emptied

I'm not sure that this is even love.

Forgive me, my heart.

The truth is, I fear that this is the part where I've fallen; where I thought I'd heard love calling only to answer to strange heavy breathing

Heart rate steadily increasing

I think this is love, but I'm having trouble believing

Forgive me, my love.

I'm not sure that I cannot trust you

Give me a reason to not trust you.

Remiss

Originally written July 2015

I'd be remiss to not admit that I replayed the kiss I longed for your to plant on my lips.
Passionate. Soft. Warm. Heavy.
Only looking to gaze into my eyes to hold my soul steady.
I wanted to give more of myself to you.
But to my great dismay, you couldn't let me.

Escape

Originally written June-July 2015

I want to be your escape.
Your break away from the world
Your window seat.
The waves along the shore crashing against your feet.
Let me be your sunrise, your brighter day.
Eyes you can look into and lose your troubles...
Even if for only a moment.
Let me be your moment
Away from it all.
Your lifeline call when you feel yourself slipping.
Let me be your gripping.
Get your bearings with me.
Just hold on and enjoy if only for this moment.
Let me be your escape.

Untitled

Originally written July 9, 2015

I just want someone who is gonna love me freely with full abandon.

With no clauses or pauses.

Without fear of my wildness.

Love my mind and the ebb and flow of every thought. 

As though this is the very purpose for which he'd been wrought.

Hammered, beaten, shaped...

To love me effortlessly

Even when he doesn't like me.

Even when he wants to spite me.

His very being aches to love me.

Deeply and dauntlessly.

'him' - a haiku

I'm missing your voice
It's the closest thing I have
Akin to your touch